The breakdown of 2013. Part I

I call this part I because well, let's face it, the year is only 1/2 over and so far, there has been a bit of stress. I really thought I had been dealing with all of this news pretty well. Going through the motions. Telling the children, talking with friends, telling family. In hindsight, I was just in complete shock. I hadn't been sleeping at all... Literally, I couldn't get my brain to shut off. One night, even 4 episodes of 19 Kids and counting couldn't put me to sleep. I kept threatening to John that I just wanted to get in the car and go somewhere.  Saturday night, Johns sister and BIL offered to take the kids so we could go out to dinner and catch up- without interruptions. And that's why I will NEVERBEABLETOSHOWMYFACEINMAGGIANOSAGAIN...
We started talking and the tears started flowing and then I started sobbing and then I could.not.stop. So John was trying to be funny and say that everyone thought he had just told me he was having an affair with our 21 year old Swedish nanny. So then I started laughing AND crying like a psycho and still couldn't stop. I just felt sick to my stomach and defeated. It was all just too much. The drive to get the kids wasn't much better and poor John, to say I let it all out is an understatement. Again, he was and is my rock through it all. He may joke and say he is used to my breakdowns by now... Ahem... Don't believe him. :) by the time we picked up the kids, my eyes were pretty much swollen shut from crying and my head was pounding. The urge to just leave Cincinnati and go to the beach and feel sand on my feet, sun on my face and hear the waves was overwhelming. I knew it wouldn't make it all go away, but I wanted nothing more than to be relaxed and to let the kids have one last bit of crazy fun before this all became very real to them and us. That's when I booked the condo in Hilton Head. And probably also when John realized he was married to a nut job when I called him at work on Monday and said " I booked the condo in HHI, tell your boss, we are leaving tonight" after some silence and I believe a couple of swear words he just said ok.