Fog Advisory Lifted...

Good morning...
I am happy to say that I think I have made the turn to feeling better. Wow, what a long, hard week in many ways. When I still felt horrible all day Wednesday, I started to panic a bit. This weekend is B.I.G. Big! Our nephew Sean is getting married (to the sweetest girlie!) and all of the kids are in the wedding! I am SO grateful to John for really taking over for this weekend and making sure kids are where they need to be and doing what they need to do! Because truthfully, I can't. It is always guaranteed fun when Wordemans et. all get together for a celebration. And selfishly, I am happy to have something like witnessing two great people vow their love for each other to celebrate!

This has been a rough week for Henry. I think the kids just take turns. Last week I was worried about Sarah. This week, Henry. He just hasn't been himself. Angry, rude specifically to me, discouraged at school... It all came to a head Wednesday. Bedtime the night before was... Let's just say painful. After an hour of sobbing and crying and screaming (like wemightneedtoclosethewindowsbeforethepo-poiscalled) bad. He woke up ok but as he was getting dressed, he just simply blurted out. "Momma, are you going to die?"  It just about broke my heart into a million pieces. Short story of it all is that I was truthful and said that I am trying my best and taking medicine to kill every cancer cell in my body and had surgery and am praying but that I would NEVER not be truthful about what was happening in this process and that he will always be taken care of and that honestly, we just don't know when we are going to die and that is why Daddy and I are trying to teach him and his sisters to be kind and respectful and loving and to do their best. All of this through a face full of tears and a very tight throat. All of the anger and frustration from him all week just put into perspective with one sentence. THAT is why I HATE this cancer. I am crying right now. I hate that I can't protect my kids from it OR the feelings it brings.

It also makes me so SO grateful for everyone in our lives right now. Each person makes a difference whether they know it or not. Prayers, emails, cards, texts, phone calls, voicemails, hugs, smiles and waves, chicken noodle soup and ice cream, handmade scarves, blessing bracelets... All of it gets our whole family through this adventure we are on. John and I are forever grateful and blessed. We talked about it so much. (Well, as much as JW and I talk- this is "the" joke for us right now, talking without interruptions OR when I am awake) :)  We are amazed at the bountiful blessings we receive daily.

Henry whipped this up this morning before school and had it on my pillow as a surprise. More tears and a grateful heart. Love that kid even though I am counting every grey hair that grows back on my head because of him. Well, not ALL of them...