I have to laugh because I was so determined to finally post something this morning while the house is still quiet, I no sooner typed the title and all of a sudden, there is a very sweet little named Margo that has just climbed into bed with me.
People ask how I am doing. Physically, this chemo has been kind so far. I am tired but able to ignore it. My stomach is "off" but am still eating normally. I am still able to have coffee in the morning which is how I gauge my level of illness. :)
Mentally, I pretty much can self diagnose- a big hot mess. I am crying or completely on the verge of tears constantly. The children know that the cancer is back and that I have had to move to another chemo. But that is it. John and I need to sit down and talk to decide how to proceed but our crazy schedules have honestly prevented it so far. And the fact that we are just a mess and numb by the path our life is taking. It can only be described as a huge, ginormous brick wall standing a foot in front of us. We can't see where it ends on the top or in either direction and the though of trying to figure out a plan to get past it is just too much. So we stand...
I again can't fully put into words how much your prayers have helped. They are so desperately needed and wanted. Thank you. Please keep them coming. So many cards and texts and calls. Thank you I love them but to be completely honest, I just can't respond right now. Please don't think they go unseen or unappreciated- they don't! Many I have read multiple times, I am just not in the "place" where I can speak freely about everything (anything) going on right now. One because the children are always with me and two, when I do try, the floodgates open and I am afraid one of these times, I won't be able to get them to stop. Right now, we are just really really overwhelmed and are asking for prayers and more prayers. Trust me, it's ok that you don't know what to say or do- neither do we!!
So let's all pray together. Pray for the ability to communicate. Pray for health for all of us as we are getting into this germy season of snotty noses. Pray for little to no complications of my chemo. Pray that it is working to stabilize the growth of these rumors! Please pray for the Faith, Wisdom and Grace to get us over, under or through this brick wall- I am thankful it takes a village. John and I LOVE that you are our village.
Smooches, Kate
smooches back at you. sometimes standing still and holding on to each other IS the answer. xoxo Ione
ReplyDeletePraying, praying and then praying some more. You, John and kids are always on my mind. I think that was a song. Your strength inspires us all!!! Lots of love coming your way! Debbie O.
ReplyDeleteYou are in my prayers daily, you are in the prayers of my children, may the Lord continue to lift and carry you, BIG HUGS.
ReplyDeleteAlways in my heart and prayers.
ReplyDeleteYou all are on my mind, in my prayers every day. As I am up before the sun every day and the peacefulness in the morning, I pray to God, thinking this is so early He has to hear me! I see all the acorns laying on the ground and smile because I know they are hitting your roof. The other night while praying,I had my eyes closed and praying so hard, when I opened my eyes,I saw a puff of smoke. I thought this must be a sign that this treatment will work...I will keep praying very hard. (((HUGS))) to you my friend!
ReplyDelete,
I'm honored to be a part of your village! Prayers, hugs, and thoughts of you and for you abound!
ReplyDeleteThe Champagnes
Know how to tear a brick wall down? One brick at a time!
ReplyDeleteAll things are possible with God, so plan the life you want, then walk down that path Kate....
Love ya, John Michael & family.
Praying praying praying! And praying some more!
ReplyDeleteI've been pretty quiet about all of this cancer business. Just afraid of all of the emotion I guess. But still, honking of you all, all the time. Keeping the faith.
ReplyDeleteNo not HONKING of you! THINKING of you!
ReplyDeleteKate,
ReplyDeleteYour women of faith at BC.org continue to keep you in prayer. We just want you to know that we care and will continue to do so. Hang in there and when you can't, then let God hold on for you.
Char aka GardenGal