Whirlwind...

How is it that in less then a week, I have gone from this...

To this...

As I had said, my neuropathy has been horrible and I was having trouble walking on numb feet. Last week while on our wonderful vacation, I fell again trying to get out of the rain on the beach. My legs just wouldn't hold me up. Since this was my third fall in a week, the next morning, I called IU and talked to my sweet nurse C thinking I was definitely out of the clinical trial and was thinking she could schedule some scans and get me going onto my next adventure. Of course this would have had to have been done Monday or Tuesday as our family was to be going to Michigan Wednesday (today)

Dr. M wasn't in but C told me what was happening was not good and that she would talk to Dr. M when she got in and call me in a couple of hours. It was blue skies and I got into my swim suit ready for a great day at the beach. Except C called back within 15 minutes and said that Dr. M wanted me to go to the ER for a brain scan. Wha? Um... No thank you I was going to the beach! Now I do confess that really for the first time on this journey, I was a bit of a tootie- tottie. I wanted to go to the BEACH! It was clear blue skies! Why could this not wait until Monday when I was back home?!

But, as usual, John and Melissa talked some reasoning into me  forced me to get dressed and go to the ER. So, yet again, thank God for Bill and Melissa who took our combined 8 children to the beach for the day. Hey, they had beer AND snacks and the BEACH- don't feel too sorry for them. 😀

The ER doctor was very nice and since I was having leg weakness, he added a lumbar MRI in addition to the brain MRI. 

When he returned after my tests, John and I were completely dumbfounded to have him tell us that my cancer has not only metastasized to my brain, but also to my L1,L2 and L4 vertebrae. I was also told that my L2 was not stable and he was very worried about it fracturing.

 Dumbfounded I tell you. Just shocked and oh so sad.

We decided to not tell the kids until we were home. They knew something was going on but that we were waiting on tests. 

We have a friend in the business you might say and are SO blessed to have him take us under his wing and get us in to some fantastic doctors he trusts and whom are willing to work with our beloved Dr. M at IU. Sometimes it's not what you know, it's who you know. He had appointments lined up for first thing Monday morning and was the first smiling face we saw walking into that office. God is so good at placing the right people in your life at the right times!

We told the children after church on Sunday. I'll  be honest, I was sick to my stomach. Why was I having to yet again do this to them!? All because my body can't beat back cancer, they get to live with uncertainty and sadness. It disgusts me and is just not fair. This is also the first time we have told them that we honestly don't know what the outcome will be but that we feel this has taken a turn for the serious. Everyone was devastated as you can imagine. Margo has no clue and laughed. 

Moving onto the medical... I finished round 2 of 10 rounds of radiation this morning. My legs are extremely weak and I am using a cane and am getting a walker- comments at diffrent times from Margo and Sarah upon being told this.

Margo: "like those things old ladies use?"

Sarah: " geez mom, GRANDMA doesn't even use one of those!"

Nice...