Selfish...

It has been a week of... I can't quite put my finger on it. I am feeling very self centered and I am mad about it. I have been praying for this self centered focus to turn around. My friend Guiseppa passed away and her funeral was on Thursday. I was a mess. I feel so guilty that every part of it from the music to the readings I just kept putting myself "there" instead of her. I was just so painfully sad for her family and friends and knowing G, she would have been annoyed with me and said " ok, enough put a smile on your face, say a prayer and buck up."
I am letting little things get to me. Things people say, things I read, rude people driving (whymustyougosofast?) inconsiderate people that can't hold a door for you or say thank you when you (or my children) do. It all adds up to crabby and we all know time spent like that just is a big waste. I am praying for a new week of gratitude!

I want to focus on some really good blessings from this week also. They are abundant and not hard to find.

* Yet again for Melissa who only knew Guiseppa through me yet left a school commitment and slid right into the pew next to me at her funeral. No words needed, just such an amazing selfless friend that just knows...So many times I feel like I just suck energy from her and she keeps letting me! I did buy her lunch this week though - well I used a gift card 😄

* For friends that thought of John and myself  and invited us to the Reds game. Although they lost 5-0 sigh... It was a beautiful night to sit with them minus kids, have a beer and laugh - and a great view of Chris Heiseys...moving on...

* For my sister-in-law to come to our crazy house to watch the children, finish homework and put them to bed so we could go to the Reds Game.

* For my friend Ann taking Margo this week knowing it has been a rough one.

* For Henry's teacher, oh my goodness we are yet again so blessed for certain people in our lives and again I am so grateful especially for Henry and Sarahs teachers last year, I am again feeling that God has placed Henry with such a special teacher this year also. While crying all the way to Gs funeral, I was trying to pull myself together in the church parking lot and was reading emails as a diversion. It was there I first read such a fantastic response email from Sister MN. She is just a beautiful person inside and out. Let's just say if her email had been written "old school " with pen and paper, it would look tattered, crumpled and tear stained I have read it so many times.

* For doctors and nurses working together for me. I had a 4 month check up with my beloved Dr. H. Her kindness and loving spirit is just incredible. For her nurse M who comes in just to check on me and chat- I am sorry I gave you a hug in just my bra but I was so excited to see you. Also for Dr. M- man the feeling that she "has my back and best interest" is very comforting.

* For ridiculously generous friends getting together and putting money into a new Katebeatingcancer account that has been set up in preparation for some kind of benefit happening who knows when. I just don't have words...

* For friends checking in on me and not giving up when I don't or just can't call or text back right now-thank you

Off to our 5 soccer and basketball games today. Also grateful for gorgeous weather!