Leap of Faith...

Good news from Wednesday! Scans showed tumors are stable. We are all very pleased and the plan is to stay on track with the clinical trial. I will have more scans in 8weeks(!) and also won't see Dr. M for 8 weeks (!!) John and I were waiting in the exam room for a longer period of time than we have had to wait before and both of us were letting our thoughts go to very negative places. It is hard not to. After Dr. M came in and told us the good news and that she is very happy with the scans, I felt so guilty. How could I have doubted God and his plan?! Why did I doubt Gods plan for me!? Yes, it is SO easy to do. It is SO easy and tempting to go down "that" path. Even with negative news that I know will eventually come, I have to trust Him. I have to have Faith and realize that I have never had total control over my lifes path. It's funny how when faced with something serious like cancer, you start looking at your life and working on things like Faith and trust when in reality, God has been guiding you since you were born. Yes, incorrect decisions have been made, yes paths have been taken that you look back on and either laugh, cry or just plain shake your head (um hello driving my 79 Volkswagen Dasher named Bob in corn fields outside Toledo in the middle of the night-you accomplices know who you are :) DM,RB,PPF,ES,MM,AA,BD ahem LOVE them all.)For now, I am grateful. Grateful that things are going our way so to speak. But it has also been a slight wake up call that I still need to believe that GOD has my back and that of my family. This is their path too. It is so humbling yet easier to accept and understand that my friends and family have my back. That your prayers are ongoing and clearly being heard. I need to focus more on trusting God at all times-good results or not. 

 

In doing so, I also need to realize that this leap of Faith isn't just accomplished alone. Like climbing a cliff and jumping off - yes those are our kids in Canada and yes, we allowed them to do this,YES I only could watch and take pictures once and it gave me instant diarrhea. But in looking at these pictures I also see everyone working together, helping each other climb toward their goal of leaping into the water. I see happiness in their accomplishment too. Just like I need to do with Gods plan for me. And I like climbing that cliff, I can't do it without all of you and am SO grateful you are helping me climb this cliff called life.

The children started back to school Wednesday. I can't believe I have a 7th, 5th, and 2nd grader (and a pre-schooler still sleeping) I am so excited for them. I am so happy for them to return to the loving halls of St. Gertrude's. We have all missed seeing friends and teachers. 

 

* Something is wrong with Blogger and is driving me crazy but I need to just post this as is and get to chores! Also, it won't let me go up and edit that we have one more part of my scans being read and will have results next week but are hoping and praying that those results will keep us moving forward as planned.