Two under my belt...

With the help and prayers from all of you, I have chemo round #2 under my belt! Everything went well and I am home in bed. It really does take a village- thank you so much for all of the people taking care of the kids today and through the weekend! Smooches to you!

Here is an idea of what goes on at chemo...

 

It was only for a minute and I'm sure he will disagree. I will also have to worry about paybacks!

Tick tick tick...

It's already THAT week again. My second round of chemo is this Thursday, the 19th. Why I am letting worry and discouragement seep into my mind, I don't know. Just before I started this post, I said out loud- "I will not let this happen! I will be faithful and strong! I will conquer this cancer and round of chemo with GRACE" I feel all of your prayers and I truly feel God and his trusty angels by my side, so I there really shouldn't be any need for worry. Logically...   I CAN do this!

I am trying to get things done this week so this weekend, while I am down and out, will be covered. That is why I am sitting at the computer in my bathrobe with a cat on my lap! :)

Yesterday, was a day of so many blessings. It always amazes me what beautiful weather can do for your spirit and soul. Sitting at many soccer games in the crisp, clear blue sky and air just makes me happy. I received so many pictures yesterday that just brought happy tears to my eyes. All coming at a time I needed them most. I seriously just kept going back and looking at them all day- feel the love!

 

Also, last night, Ellie had a basketball game and Sarah also an hour later. So John and I needed to divide and conquer. Clearly, I was at the "wrong" game as I chose to go to Sarah's and Ellie's team all wore pink headbands and the beloved breast cancer Nike socks that Ellie has been REEAAALLLYYY wanting. The friends and moms put this together. John called and when he told me, I was just again overwhelmed with kindness. Kindness that these girls would think so much of not only me but especially Ellie- who is needing this kind of friendship and support now more than ever. To the moms for buying the socks etc. and for becoming my friends too. For telling me my bandanna and hat looks cute. (HA) For telling me that their daughter hasn't missed a night without saying at least three decades of the rosary for me. For the text last night from another friend telling me she can see my strength in my smile and eyes. All of it just incredible blessings that I never want to forget. And most importantly, want my children to learn from these blessings and compassion. This and the many other things all of you are doing. Taking care of my children, laundry, prayers, cards, texts, sewing and knitting me hats, all of it. THAT is where I am getting my strength and will be ready for Thursday- along with my batgirl underwear of course!

Hair today, gone tomorrow... and other things...

Well, my cute pixie cut lasted less than 48 hours...This morning there was enough hair on the floor to form a medium raccoon. Yet again, I called Holli and yet again, she fit me in- and shaved my head. She is also a blessing in disguise! I had a breakdown on John before going but knew it was inevitable. Some of the kids are fine, some Ellie, not so much. I had Chipotle with Melissa and my friend Jaime and felt better. It is just a bizarre feeling. Physically and mentally. On one hand, I "feel" fine- just tired. On the other, it is mentally draining to know that others know you have cancer every time you step out of the house.
We are packed with games this weekend and I am looking forward to the wonderfully cool, fall-like weather. I love having our windows open, wearing a sweatshirt and shorts. We are all so tired. I just can't seem to get myself and the kids into bed before 10 pm. Somehow helping three complete homework and figuring out dinner and practices we haven't been eating before 8 pm. Which had been our usual summer dinner time but clearly needs to be seriously adjusted!. The transition from third to fourth for Sarah has been a bit of a shock. She is doing well but there has been a learning curve of changing classes, teachers homework and added responsibilities. There has been much crying on her part. Not getting enough sleep is NOT helping!
Last week was a week of many doctors appointments. Everything all checked out well. I got my stitches out and my first "fill" into my expanders last Friday. I feel like Dolly Parton. John just shakes his head. Everything you wanted to know about me huh? :)
Ellie, Sarah. Henry and I went to our first of four meetings at the Cancer Family Care Center last Wednesday. the program is called Walk the Dinosaurs and I think everyone liked it as much as they could. Ellie met a really nice girl her own age dealing with her Step-father having cancer. I was shocked by the number of youngish parents and children dealing with stage 4 cancers. Very sad but makes me selfishly hopeful I will never have to experience anything more than what I am now.

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! I will be trying to make the most of this weather as my next round of chemo is next Thursday so I know I will be out of commission next weekend.

Mish mash of things...

Time flies when you are doing too much and by the end of the day, you are falling asleep during Henry's 20 minutes of reading. I have been busy... doing what, I am not quite sure. 6 people living in one house just amazes me the mere minutes it takes to make it look like the house has been ransacked. It makes me want to pull my hair out. Literally, hairs, falling out EVERYWHERE! As I said to people yesterday, I am more obsessed than upset right now. I think it is the veterinary technician in me. "Hey check out THIS grossness!" "Oh, you want me to pick and debride that wound on that dog? Love to!" I called my beloved friend and family hairdresser Holli yesterday and of course she fit me in... because she rocks like that. AND I brought all of the kids... just so... you know they could torture the salon, eat a mass of suckers and not be freaked out by my new "do." They all like it... too bad it is a ticking time bomb... like days. I have multiple sewing and knitting friends that will be helping me out with head wear AND I have a WIG! Pictures and stories to come soon- I have to get Margo TOHERFIRSTDAYOFPRESCHOOL!!!!!!!! GAH!

Gifts...

Good Sunday morning! Although I am snuggled in bed with my best bed buddy Henry, I am also drinking a cup of coffee! Many of you know this is a true sign I am feeling more like myself as I LOVE my morning coffee! Probably a little too much but hey if coffee makes me a happy girl, everyone in this family prospers! :)
Gifts... I want to talk about all of  the unbelievable, amazing gifts I/our family have received since the very minute of my cancer diagnosis. On one hand, they are completely unnecessary. But honestly? All- big or small, from cards and quick sweet loving notes to handmade cross stitch and quilts, all have arrived at some of my most trying times of this journey our family is on. Thank you just seems weak. They all boost my spirit even though I feel undeserving! I can't even begin to capture them all but am trying to go through some on here over time that have not only rocked me to my core with the overwhelming feeling of love but also, I think are really great ideas for others dealing with a serious life event. Please understand they will be posted in no particular order or by importance etc.! Honestly, there are some that I can't even put into words the raw emotion of  love and  blessings they have brought to me right now.
Again, thank you everyone. For the prayers, cards, emails, texts, dinners, gift cards, warm fuzzy stripy Buckeye socks :), flowers, clean laundry, clean bathrooms! bracelets, PRAYERS and more prayers! It is all very humbling.

My crappy day treats...

This pile of amazing presents are from two friends. Two friends that I happened to meet under circumstances most would never have. It turned into a group of fantastic women I couldn't imagine not in my life. So, these are called crappy day presents. Anytime I am having a rough moment,( like trying to work with Henry on homework) I open a CDP. So far,they have run the gammet of reeaalllllyyyy good chocolate to a solar powered iron owl that sits on our front porch. Isn't that just incredible? Love you Anne and Kerry- more than you can imagine. Thank you for making me laugh so hard, I have actually blamed you both for making my chest hurt! 

Chemo day 8...

Good morning! Well, as I told a neighbor this morning, I think I am on the upswing of yuck. Days 3-5 were bad. The splitting headache, the nausea, the not sleeping... Bad. But, after my "walk" with Sarah on Monday, I could feel things looking a bit brighter. Now the only side effects I feel are some (but usually tolerable) nausea and tiredness. Like youvejustrunamarathonthroughquicksand tiredness. I also get the chemo brain saying. Last night, we had meet the teachers at school and a friend asked me if I was "going to the open house tomorrow" and I just stared at her forever! Wasn't I AT the open house now? After she had to repeat it to me MULTIPLE times, I realized she was talking about Margo's open house that is this morning. Whew! I can hear my brain trying to click but sometimes misfires. I was getting cross at Sarah for using Henry's bunkbed as a jungle gym and couldn't get the right words out and ended up sputtering something completely incoherent and we ended up both just laughing hysterically.
By Friday afternoon, I will have had 3 doctors appointments! Makes lots of sense to stay out of Germy places no? :) I am SO amazed by my friends that are MORE than willing to jump at the chance to take Margo for me during my appointment times. I am very blessed.
John... Now most of you know that John, JW, Wordeman, $&1@!! As I am sometimes prone to call him :) and I have a um... Bantering relationship. But seriously, God just reaffirms how lucky I am to have found and married this man. To say he has stepped up to the plate for our family, is a huge understatement. Tirelessly. Unselfishly. Willingly. John has done more of my "tasks" in the last month than probably in our marriage. He will disagree on that one I'm sure!  Bathing children, shopping, homework, making,serving dinners! Driving the children to school in the mornings. Picking up and driving to practices. making sure he is home from work at a reasonable time to help. Anything I ask, he does. I know he is exhausted too. God is amazing in showing me yet another side of my "guy" I have known for a little over 20 years now. (!!) Now, I might change my tune a bit since you know, it's the start of "That" season... OSU and Bengal football, but I still think I am one very lucky girl!
Again this week I have been blown away by my friends and family. Cards, gift cards, wonderfully sweet notes, UNNECESSARY gifts! You have no idea how much it all means. They all come at just the right moments. Gods timing... Just amazing.

Deflated... But not defeated! ***Updated***

Good morning from chemo round 1, day 5...
I will warn you, this one might seem like a bit of a downer and I guess it is.
I feel...well, horrible. Yesterday was by far my worst day and I'm hoping I am on the upswing. I am doing better staying on top of meds but I seriously do not know if I can swallow one.more.pill.
The achy side affect from the Neulasta doesn't seem to be bad. But this headache... A whopper I tell you! It physically hurts when I touch my temples. I know I am not getting enough liquids in and is a goal for today. But everything - including water just tastes "off." I am praying this too shall pass!
My other worry has come true... Comfortable sleep. Remember August 1? I had a double mastectomy    
with expanders (aka bricks) placed? So I am still healing, still have stitches, STILL can't sleep like a normal person...even my sweet constant companion is mocking me :)

* Sarah just woke up and came out to see me. I was telling her how unbelievable this headache was and that it even hurt to touch my head and she said in her sweet deadpan voice... "Then don't touch it..."  Lord I love that girl!  Anywho... Back to complaining about how I am still sleeping sitting up in a reclining position and it bites. I want to curl up on my side and SNOOZE! 

Enough! Enough! That's all of the whining I am going to do (well right now, on here-just ask John) oh and John, doing such a fantastic job taking care of all of us. Love him!

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After posting, I walked two blocks with Sarah, drank most of my coffee, 1 1/2 cups of my water,got 2 Advil down and can say I think I am feeling better! I might even hear some peanutbutter toast calling my name.